NOTHING

NOTHING by floyd-cure on Polyvore

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"The Anti-Life Equation"

Anti life equation

In dc comics, there is this one villain named Darkseid. He's one of the big villains who aims to rule the whole universe. In his pursue of universal domination, he discovered one thing that will help him conquer and that thing is called the anti life equation.
The anti life equation is a power of some sort that enables one being to have complete and utter control of other beings in the universe. Why is it called anti life when all it does is control? Well, the explanation is, when someone has complete control over you, you have no individuality, no emotion on your own, no conscience, on consciousness, no free will, in other words, you are nothing which means you no longer exist; hence the name "anti life equation"

Right now, i actually know the feeling of being under the "anti-life equation"; well, i may be exaggerating, but still, its one hell of a sentiment... A person should not be exposed to such emotionless, helpless, vulnerable, pathetic way of experience because of the mere fact that it is mortal to ones essence and dignity.. Imagine yourself presented to an inevitable predicament, where you only have one Option to consider which doesn't even guarantee the benefit that you actually deem to have.. Having to only choose the exact opposite of what you actually want, dream, will or wish, just to avoid any confrontation, anything negative, to save yourself the effort of arguing and fighting for what you stand for is the same as not existing at all..

Im talking to YOU. YOU who leaves me no other choice but to do your bidding, to accept defeat, surrender my all, do what is expected of me, Feel nothing, serve you, bend over for all your needs and inevitably choose what is must, just to please you.. All else, other than the dire alternatives presented to me are mortal in nature, which basically means deadly. You literally give me no other choice but to choose what is best for me to please you.. Do you get it? Its all of you, by you and, for you.. I do everything just for you to not get mad, angry, irritated and fu*ed up because if you do get fu*ed up, my life would also be fu*ed up and believe me, its a lot worse for me rather than for you.

I can be considered next to lifeless when it comes to YOU.. You don't know how i feel when i have to compensate for you. You rarely stop and ask if I'm ok, you rarely consider my side of the story and when you actually hear my side of the story, you go hard on yourself and eventually give up on everything. Imagine that, you quickly quit when i say something about you; but the thing is, that's not what I'm really after, what i really want from you is not to give up, but accept and change.. Yun lang..

I need YOU to see what i see, feel what i feel and above all, understand that you are now giving me a really hard time... Its so hard to explain myself to you because all you hear from my explanations are "how bad you are" and all others will be left out.. PLEASE, see me, know my side, get to know the pain i feel as you cast "the anti-life equation" over me.. Be aware of my sacrifices for us, for you.. I may not speak out at all times, but, it doesn't mean I'm not affected at all..Its not a hard riddle to crack, its just easy to miss..

From My Perspective..

they say, a man can only be as good through his actions.. but, can the actions be really good for other people? i just want people to not feel the pain i experience..i just want them to live not like me, but like what i dream to be. a person shouldn't be living to experience pain, a person lives to avoid pain, and that is exactly what i want.. the thing is, no matter how many times i do stuff for them that'll prevent them from feeling bad, no matter how many times i make them smile and forget the numerous problems in the world, i still get nothing...

isn't that a riddle in itself? why is it that the things that you do for them, be it acts of selflessness or even of love, doesn't return to you? they say that what goes around comes around, but i guess, in reality, good deeds -most of the time- don't come back.. i say this because i have lived most of my life trying to prevent bad feelings to be felt by the people i care for. i give them time, resources, happiness, humor, love, care, respect, understanding, almost everything, but they only seem to keep it for themselves.. 

i guess what i'm trying to say, is that, sometimes, i too just want to be given a soda can, i too, just want to hear a joke once in a while, i want a new shirt, a lunch treat, somebody to pick me up from school or my house then go some where, asked questions like "how was your day?" "do you need anything?" "want me to buy you food somewhere?".. questions that i ask to the people i care for.. 

is it bad to ask for those things? is it bad for me to want to be the center of attention -(positive attention)- once in a while? i didn't even get the stuff i wanted for my birthday.. i don't even get sympathy or consideration.. i think its expected of me to just become numb of those things because it never crosses their minds that i too am human..

even this post i made, some people will sure have negative things to say to this post. they'll say that it isn't true what i experience from them and blah blah blah.. the thing is, you're not the ones how sits in their beds, looking dazed and thinking to themselves "i just did them a favor, why do they still think that i don't need one..." i'm sorry for crying all this out, and i know that good deeds need not to have rewards because they are essential and the right things to do. but, its not so wrong to expect... i may have doomed myself of wanting even the equivalent of what i bring them but in the end, i just want them to not be me..

Getting Up.

in life, falling is an inevitability. we are all destined to fall at some point. we are all programmed to fail. every single one of us will eventually experience failure and loss. this is not a riddle, this is not an illusion, it's the Grim reality right in front of our eyes. we may wish to be perfect, we may dream of a smooth yellow brick road to the castle of the wizard for some quick answers to our questions but, that's just it, there are still humps, detours and rocks along that road that will break us. again, its an inevitability.

Now, for what it's worth, yes, we do fall, yes we do fail, yea, we break easily or give up eventually, but, we never forget that single thought in our head that says-"i have to get up" or "i have to keep trying", "get up". those thoughts are hot-wired to both our brains and our hearts. it's instinct, it's reflex, its air, it will be always there. even though we break, it will always be there.

for me, i just keep it simple and focus on those simple thoughts and not even stress myself on the problem or bump at hand, what matters for me, is the way i handle the slap on my face and how i counter back. i may cry, i may be in pain, i can also be very close to death, but i will always get up and carry on. that's just how life is.

so please do remember, in order for us to grow, carry on, continue and get up, we must first fall. falling isnt such a bad thing, one can gain an infinite amount of lessons from those seemingly unsolvable problems that hit us like a moon bombarded my asteroids or meteorites. WE LEARN. WE GET UP, WE MOVE ON. just like our moon, shining in dark, cold space, but still, moves on its orbit.

in the words of Batman's father- "why do we fall Bruce?, so we can learn to pick ourselves up."

this is for all those who are having a hard time getting up, you are not alone and you are not weak, you just need more time or effort on getting up. sometimes, you also need help, like helium for a balloon to fly. but sometimes, rare times even, you don't need those factors, you just have to not love falling.

-for our friends. may you always try "GETTING UP".

"Problem Seeker"

Ever met a person on a day where he or she has that attitude of finding something wrong in everything and then when they find it, they just don't stop nagging or talking about it? yeah, those kind of people are what i call "PROBLEM SEEKERS". they will literally find the tiniest, smallest, flimsy imperfection on everything they can lay their hands on and just nag, nag, nag about it until... actually, sometimes, they just don't ever stop talking about it. they just go on and on, complaining about that small coffee drop on the sofa and they drag other people to what ever they wanna express.

I mean, why?? just WHY, would a person find problems for themselves? why can't they just, i dunno, NOT MAKE A PREDICAMENT out of every thing. you can just live in blissful ignorance and ignore all that negativity around you, but noooo, you have to find yourself something to piss yourself off and take it out on everyone! REALITY CHECK- NOBODY WANTS PROBLEMS IN THEIR LIVES! EVEN YOU! the same people whom i call "Problem Seekers"

Riddle me this will 'ya-

why do you keep doing it? why shatter that mirror of happiness with small pebbles of problems you pick-up along the way? yeah, problems help us improve and stuff, but why not let life give you rotten lemons and not turn your good lemons to rotten ones? why must you piss off yourself with the whole awareness that you are making it worse for yourself? do you feel a sense of pride in what you do? does it make people like you happy? do you feel pleasure on dragging people to your problems?

Guess, we'll never know for sure..

 I guess, if you met your match, your match should be someone who will gladly stir up problems for the pleasure of pissing the hell out of you more than just ignore you and sit idly by. i wish i could do that sometimes. you know, see that small drop of coffee on the sofa and I'll just splash a cupful for you to really notice that shit. I really wish for that time to come. the less people like you in this world, the better. yeah, that's a BURN...

Riddle me this?

First entry for this page. Posted this just to test out some of my settings. Seems to me, that everything is in order and well, I kinda nailed my settings. 

This is all about suppressed emotions, answers, reactions, questions, curiosities, anger, well, almost all things that is too much for the public ear to hear or in my case, my friends, family, or relative's ears to be exact. 

I can always include the occasional "people who i don't or do know" reviews and just some shit that i really wanna write about like how frustrating it is to post something on my other social media accounts without one of my family members commenting something directly or indirectly negative towards me or my actions. 

FREEDOM IS NOT INCLINED TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT FOR OR ABOUT YOU.

RIDDLE ME THIS?

Why can't they just accept the fact that they are not the "god" of my life. Just..... I just hope someone gets this, if none, well, at least i let it out there and if some does, the not so grim reality is, you're not alone..